“Somebody’s watching meeee… it’s my anxietyyyyy, oh.”
We’ve all heard this catchy line from Doechii recently, right? How fascinating is it that she wrote it long before her well-deserved rise to fame? Even more inspiring is how her fans pushed her to release it, showing just how deeply we all relate. It’s a reminder that we often feel alone in our struggles and worse, we convince ourselves that we need to “fix” everything immediately.
Ironically, we are constantly trying to “fix” ourselves whether it’s our past, present, or future and risk feeding even greater anxious patterns. Dr. Bisi Laniyan of Sage Clinics reminds us that anxiety is a normal, adaptive emotion. It’s our body’s way of preparing for perceived threats. In that sense, anxiety isn’t the enemy—it’s a signal.
In fact, it often shows up trying to protect us, just in an overactive, sometimes unhelpful way. Think of it like an overly cautious advisor in your mind, always planning for the worst-case scenario. Its intentions are not bad, but the constant state of alertness can be draining. The goal is not to get rid of anxiety altogether, but to understand it and learn how to respond to it differently.
Dr Bisi Laniyan is a UK trained Clinical Psychologist with over a decade of experience in the mental health and wellbeing sector. She works primarily with adults facing various mental health and emotional challenges. Prior to joining Sage, she worked in a specialist trauma-focused adult mental health setting in the UK, providing psychological care for individuals with diverse mental health needs. Her approach to therapy is person centred and underpinned by evidence based and culturally sensitive psychological interventions.
Here are Dr. Laniyan’s top tips for dealing with anxiety:
١. 1,2,3, breathe
It sounds cliché, but taking a deep breath can feel like pressing the pause button on a racing mind.
When we’re anxious, our body thinks we’re in danger—even if the “threat” is just a difficult email. A
deep breath tells your brain, that ‘you’re safe’, and there’s nothing to feel panicked about. Not sure
where to start?
Try a simple 4-4-4-4 box breath: inhale for 4, hold for 4, exhale for 4, hold for 4. And repeat. This can help calm your nervous system and bring you back to the present moment.
٢. Make room for uncertainty
Uncertainty is a major trigger for anxiety, and while it’s human to seek control, learning to tolerate ambiguity is essential, because uncertainty is an inevitable part of life. The more we try to avoid or control it, the more anxious we feel.
You can make room by noticing anxious thoughts without trying to ‘stop’ or ‘fix’ them by saying: “I can feel anxious, unsure, and still move forward.” This is called psychological flexibility; the ability to stay present and open to experience, even when that experience is uncomfortable.
٣. Name your emotion
Give your anxiety a name, role or personality. Maybe it’s an overzealous intern. Naming your anxiety creates space between you and the emotion—it’s something you’re experiencing, not who you are. You’re the observer, and from that place, you can choose how to respond.
٤. Make your own peace in the chaos
Life doesn’t always slow down, even when we feel overwhelmed. Relationships can feel uncertain, and unexpected changes often come without warning. When you’re already feeling anxious, it can seem like everything is moving too fast, too loud, and things can feel a little chaotic. But even in those moments, it’s possible to create small spaces of calm. This could be stepping outside for some air, jotting down a few thoughts, taking time away from devices – these quiet moments can remind us of our agency and help us anchor ourselves.
Anxiety often draws us into hypothetical future scenarios or unresolved past experiences, making it difficult to remain present. Staying grounded in the face of anxiety is challenging, yet it is a key component of effective emotion regulation.
While we are not able to eliminate anxiety entirely, it can be managed in ways that help us feel more in control and resilient. Working with your anxiety, rather than battling against it, can open up space for more clarity and calm.
You can find out more about Dr Laniyan and check out SageClinics’s services by clicking the link here.
